| Furcadia art commish information |
[18 Apr 2006|06:38pm] |
:3 Yes, I live. I've decided that I want to do stuff for other people for once, so here goes~
I AM AN.. ..Artist.
I do ports, couple-ports, larger pixel-works, and full pieces! Other: Patch art, and dreamweaving, dream-skins. [See bottom of post] :33
---
Ports - 1-5 days, 2 weeks if you want a background, too
---
10 gold dragonscales for just plain lineart
18 gold dragonscales for reampable colors
25 gold dragonscales for colors that aren't reampable.
Backgrounds cost 5 gold dragonscales.
---
Ports - couples - 1-3 months, 1-4 if you want a background, too
---
20 gold dragonscales for just plain lineart.
35 gold dragonscales for reampable colors.
50 gold dragonscales for colors that aren't reampable.
Backgrounds cost 5 gold dragonscales.
---
Larger pixel works - 2-3 weeks, or a month if you want a background, too
---
35 gold dragonscales for humans
50 gold dragonscales for anthros
55 gold dragonscales for animals
60 gold dragonscales for dragons.
Backgrounds add on an extra 15 to 30 gold dragonscales, depending on how detailed you want it.
---
Full pieces - 9 days for pencil - 13 for pencil then inked - 16 for pencil, to inked, to colored - up to a month for pencil to inked to colored plus a background
---
30 gold dragonscales for pencil art
40 gold dragonscales for inked
65 gold dragonscales for colored.
If you want a background, it's an extra 10/20 gold dragonscales, depending on the detail.
---
Computer-done art [but not pixel art] - time: varies too much, ask on request
---
15 gold dragonscales for small and uncolored, 35 gold dragonscales for colored.
25 gold dragonscales for medium, and uncolored, 45 gold dragonscales for colored.
35 gold dragonscales for large, and uncolored, 55 gold dragonscales for colored.
If you want a background, it's an extra 10/20 gold dragonscales, depending on the detail.
---
If you don't like waiting, it costs double the price for quicker output. [Give a timeframe before I start, I'll tell you if it'll be doubled.]
---
Example: Say you order a computer done art, size small with colors and a highly detailed background, and you want it done in less the time it would normally take. That would be (35 x 2) + (20 x 2), which equals 110. It would cost you, in total, 110 gold dragonscales for that.
---
I only do 1-3 things at once. 3, if they're ports. 1 if it's a full piece.
---
The most expensive thing gets top priority.
If you want to be number 1 on my list, you have to pay an extra 40 gold dragonscales.
---
If you don't like what you see, point out what you don't like [BEFORE I color or ink it, if it's a full piece.] and I'll do my best to change it. You must ask for previews to obtain previews.
---
Note: All art will have my signature, [c] ZAI, somewhere in it where it will be hard to edit out. Don't like it, no art for you.
All previews will have a computer-done 'PREVIEW' over the art in an x pattern, and [c] ZAI in a corner.
I want half the money before I even start. That way, if you run off with the art and don't pay me, I'll still have half the dragonscales.
If you don't like it, you don't get the dragonscales you pay upfront back. I spend time on my art, I don't want to be stuck with something useless if you don't like it! [Note: If you can find someone else who wants it, and they pay me, you -will- get your money back.]
If I see any of my art being redistributed at a profit for someone other than myself, I shall hunt you down and beat you till you're no longer identifiable.
---
Patch art - items - time: 2-5 weeks for 20 items, 1-2 months for 40 items, 5 months for a dream set, 7-9 months for a build-a-home set. I want credits in the opening text. Patches are made for one-person use only, I'll kill you if you rip them. Because I'll -know.-
---
A set of 20 items costs 20 gold dragonscales.
A set of 40 items costs 55 gold dragonscales.
A full dream items set costs 120 gold dragonscales.
A build-a-home items set costs 170 gold dragonscales.
---
Patch art - floors - time: 1-3 weeks for 20 floors, 3-5 weeks for 40 floors, 2-3 months for a build-a-home floor set [About 100-135 floors]
---
A set of 20 floors costs 20 gold dragonscales.
A set of 40 floors costs 45 gold dragonscales.
A build-a-home floor set costs 100 gold dragonscales.
---
Patch art - walls - time: 2-5 months for each set.
---
A set of 10 walls costs 15 gold dragonscales.
A set of 30 walls costs 35 gold dragonscales.
A set of 50 walls costs 60 gold dragonscales.
In this section, the dragonspeak is optional. If you want to do it yourself, go right ahed. If you only request the map, it's half-price. The build-a-home will only cost you 100 gold dragonscales for the map, and no dragonspeak, though.
---
Dreamweaving - random - time: up to a year for a full-sized map and dragonspeak
---
A map with no real point to it, plus the dragonspeak costs 180 gold dragonscales.
---
Dreamweaving - hotel - time: up to a year for a full-sized map and dragonspeak
---
A hotel map, plus the dragonspeak costs 230 gold dragonscales.
---
Dreamweaving - feral - time: up to a year for a full-sized map and dragonspeak
---
A feral dream, plus the dragonspeak costs 200 gold dragonscales.
---
Dreamweaving - build-a-home - time: up to two years for a full-sized map and dragonspeak
---
A build-a-home dream, plus the dragonspeak costs a whopping 300 gold dragonscales. This price is negociable.
---
Dreamweaving - random feral build-a-hotels o_O;; - time: up to two years for a full-sized map and dragonspeak
---
..A. ..Random feral build-a-hotel dream, plus the dragonspeak costs 320 gold dragonscales. This price is also negociable. ..But if you order this one you're crazy. xD
---
Dreamweaving - bar/club - time: up to a year and a half for a full-sized map and dragonspeak
---
A bar/club dream, plus the dragonspeak costs 220 gold dragonscales.
---
Dream skins - any - time: 1-5 months. Those things are intricate!
---
A dream skin costs 50 gold dragonscales.
-----
If you think this stuff is too pricey, then you obviously don't know how much time I put into things to make them good.
If you want to try to get me to lower the prices for you, go right ahed. It doesn't work unless it's reasonable or if I'm in a good mood.
THE MOST IMPORTANT INFORMATION, YET. If you want to get me to do something, WHISPER me. Don't add me on aim, don't add me on yahoo, don't add me on msn. WHISPER ME. My furcadia name is: Wrathling
Again, I request that half the price be paid upfront. If I don't finish it, you get your money back.
|
|
| ... |
[01 Apr 2006|10:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thirsty |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
I DONT KNOW WHAT ITS CAAAALLED. SLDKJFDSKLFJ. |
] |
It's 10.09 pm. I'm in Liz's computer room and I'm in the DARK. She's behind me, on the floor, talking on the phone. ...Wheee! HOW DELIGHTFUL! ...
OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. Duo. I miss you. Alot. . And I'm writing to you very much. ^^; I hope hope hope hope you'll like the letters and junk, but if you dont I'll write you new ones. ...Which I'll do tomorrow night anyway. The only odd thing about thisone, is that, like. It's in blue, and it's in ink, and it's written throughout the day. Omfg. We took, like, videos of eachother just to be hella random. I hope my parents aren't snooping around on my computer, that would -really- suck because I have alot of junk on there [allready] that they'd object to.. Frikkin picky bastards, all up in a tizzy about how sexual stuff sucks and how cursing is wording of the devil or shit like that. --; It's really annoying. Eeeee, you know how your vision kind of blanks out everything around [....Liz just said viagra ...] you if you're staring at something really bright? Yeah. The edges of my vision are all ldsfjkljdfskljf wtf screw you you suck omfg die1!!!!!1!1n00b@ ...
It's 10.15 and I'm kind of less-bored now that I can ramble on about stupid stuff. I guess I'll stick down the details of my visit so far, because, yeah. I can. We lurked around my house till about 3.35, and like ..We went to DQ, and it started raining. Reeeally hard. xD Aha, that was so great. I stopped for a bit because.. Well, you know. I love the rain. So I kinda got more soaked then she did.. ^^; Lol. My pants were all OMFG AHHH RAIN'D ON OLOLOLOL. So was my hair. So it's frizzy, now. ..My pants aren't though.. o_o; On the way back from dq, we were being all insane and stuff, right? xD Well we were shreiking at cars.. And made one RUN AWAY FROM US. XDD That was frikkin' great man.. ..We also. Think. We saw jizz in the grass. NOT SURE THOUGH, BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW OF -ANYONE- WHO WOULD STAND. ON THE SIDE OF A -BUSY ROAD.- WHIP THEIR JUNK OUT. THEN CRANK ONE OUT. Ahaha, well, maybe me. But I don't have whippable-outable junkstuffs.
Well, we got home and stuff.. And I let Liz look through my art stuff. xD I have alot of things I'm going to send to you, because I really have nothing to do with them.. ..Would you prefer framed or unframed? xD; I will sign them though, on the back. Ehheh. That is, if you even want them. There's afew dragons I want to give you, and stuff. But yeah, onwards.
She likes my room. ^^; Lol. I kinda do, but there's a computer chair and a PLANT HOLDER WITH A FAKE PLANT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BLOODY ROOM! And the closet doors won't close So I'm ALWAYS afraid that stuff's going to come out of the closet and rape me or something ._.;; HOORAY HORROR MOVIES THAT LURK IN MY BRAIIIIIIIN!! ..Or not.
Well, we left at, shock shock, 3.35. And WE WERE STUPID IN THE CAAAAR, HAHA. We took videos, and she got pictures of me spazzing out. I think I'll delete those.. xD Aha, I've been such a camera whore today. Posing and picturetaking and all that stuff. I have some good ones thatt'l be a nice addition to your collection. If I Can get them uploaded without my parents flailing about being all OMFG NO U HAV UR TNKTP 0N DAS 2 RVALIN. AHAHA. That would suck It's not my fault I like this thing, it's all RED and COMFY and WHEEEEEEE O_O And they match my pants. ..I'm in pjs right now, random pair of grey loungepants and the red thingy. I should have brought my fluffy slippers. xD I even thought about it before I left. Oh well.
After we got to her house, we lurked up about in her room for awhile [her house is 2 stories tall, I think I got a picture of that too, lol.] and played Jak 3. That was kinda amusing xD She FELL OFF A CLIFF, AHAHAH. ...But I did that, more than FIFTY BILLION TIMES. REEEKLSJDFKLSDJSKLDJF. ...Ror. We were called down for food after awhile though, mushroom/sausage pizza. I ATE TOO MUCH TT; I blame the Moolate thingy from DQ, but ldskfjgjd,. THAT IS SO. GOOD. COFFEEEEEEE. <3 Yeah, it 'gasmed on my hand like 092905802 times. And my desk ....AND EVERYWHERE EL-- OH MY GOD THE BLINDING LIGHT IT BURNS Sskldfjskljdfskj. She turned on the light like 4 times, on off on off on off on off. That...hurt. xDD Eeee. Anyway.
It is now 10.29 pm and I am even less bored, because I know you'll be reading this. I still miss you terribly though, and if you were here I wouldn't be typing. ^^ I'd be clinging to you and stuff. I hope you don't get bored reading through this, because I really don't know what else to do, right now. Other than prod at your mentality by flinging ice chips.. ..Which won't work BUT IT'S AMUUUUUUUUSING. AHAHA. ....Anyway..
I took some random pictures, too. There was, like, oh god, A rainbow. It was all pretty and faint and I got pictures. ^^ That made my day even more, because I haven't seen one in ages.. I'll send you that picture, too. Lol. Liz's neighbourhood is so frikkin pretty, yaknow..
Eee, Leech just signed on. /endrandom
Anyway. We went for a WALK. ..That was, like. Really cool.. Because, around her houses. She has construction stuff going on, right? Well, I foung random scrapmetal bits. This huge, flat, but bent in some places, bit of metal about 7 feet long. I carried that with me for awhile till we got into the christmas tree farm. That was cool, there were prints of all kinda animals in the mud. Yeeees, mud got on my frikken pants, it did..
Anyway. ..When we got past the 'farm, we were in something of a LULL WITH SEMI FLAT GROUND. And there were.. Trees, and bushes and grass and stuff... And there was a pipe, right? xD About 4'3, 3 inches wide, 30+ pounds. It was all OMFKLJKLJGSKLDJG Heavy. I used it as a, well ....You know Gandalf, LOTR dude? The thing he carries around. That. xD I was hobblin' about old-womanish. Lol. I carried it for like 20 minutes till we got to the edge of the tree farm, then I handed it over to her. After-- OH GOD. SHE STABBED ME. WITHA FUCKIN PAPER AIRPLANE. FUUUUCLSDLKJFKLSDJ. One I made too! THOSE HURT. TT_TT; --I did that, she found a hammer! Not with the handle though. Just the hammah part. We also found those huge screw-looking things that help support the houses, right? Well one was half-burried, and I was all. TT; OMFG I WANT IT SO BAD! But I tried to take it, and the screw-like texture bit into my hands like a motherf'er. I'd have gotten sliced up if I'd taken that .___.; So I'm glad I didn't.. Everything we got is hiding under the deck, now.
When we got back in, I settled onto her bed and changed my pants. xD Cause they were all muddy . Which sucks.. I'll have to wear these back home tomorrow or something. Unless the mud's dried off, lol. After the whole changing of the clothes thing I took RANDOM PICTURES OF RANDOM SHIIIIT. O_O Like.. Me. ..And her. AND THE TV HAHA. XD That was great.
Wow, it's 11.08. I don't have to go to bed any time soon, and I'm reeeeally bored all over again. I'm gonna end this bitch now, but on a nice note.
I love you, Richard. ^^ Have fun sleepin' or whatever you're doing. Think of me whilst doin' it.
~~~~
There hides a secret
Deeply twined inside of her mind
A tried and confined egret
That pines to fly south
To this mouth of mine
Pity
Too long have these emotions
Like potions, made me
A sole castellan
Trusted to keep
The weight of oceans
From her rusted gates of sleep
A dreaming angel
Lying curled in the circles of Hell
I must protect her
Watch her back for any cracks to occur
For in the witching hour
She slips into the underworld
A pearled Persephone
Deflowered by the powers
Hat around her
Down her
Whirl
Doomed to damn the rift
Across the shifting abyss
With her body and it’s gift…
My filthy little secret
I serve her slender hope
To preserve mankind from old ghosts
Disturbed though by recurring crimes
I sense that dead
Might be best for both
Pity
Too long have these emotions
Like potions, made me
A sole castellan
Posted to keep
Slow wheels in motion
From the human race to beat
Without her there
My nymphetamine with the faraway stare
Thin walls would crumble
Horrors would corroborate from dogstar lairs
For in the dead of the night
She spasms with orgasmic flare
This reamed Demeter
With Poseidons there inside her
Too appeased to grieve our air
Doomed to dam the rift
Across the shifting abyss
With her body and it’s gift…
My filthy little secret
Forever sworn to keep it
My filthy little secret
Pity
Too long this urchin princess
Has incensed, made me
A wanton felon
Searching for the key
To loose her harness
And set desires lurching free
Without her there
My nymphetamine with the faraway stare
Thin walls would crumble
Horrors would corroborate from dogstar lair
But in her room at night
I care not for the underworld
Slathering and gathering emboldened Reichs
To breach, to teach
A dread thereafter
I would risk all this
For one minute of bliss
With her body and it’s gift
My filthy little secret
Forever sworn to keep it
My filthy little secret
I know a deeper beauty shines
Beyond the veil
Her roots and creepers mine
As the worms beneath arise
~~
You'll know what song that is. I plan to download it soon enough. I love you. ..Again. xD
Nini. <3
-Kim
P.s. - It's 11.16 now. xD
|
|
| Secks O_O |
[30 Mar 2006|11:38am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 bored |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Butthole Surfers - Dracula From Houston |
] |
^^; I'm. ..Not with you know who anymore. Ehheh. ........
I feel kind of bad though; I'm all ready with someone else. ._o; Because it's not an irl thing ...Therefore no paranoia. Mm. Anyway.
I'm listening to Pepper, talking on the phone with Kat, and planning to go over to Lizard's house this weekend! n_n; Ehheh. ..
Holy f, I'm crazy-happy. And I listened to those soundclips again, Duo. x3 Yeeee. My mom now knows you're 19, and doesn't. Seem to care. So this is good; no more saying I dont know your age ^^
Anyway.. Um. Khan is bored, to some extent. And she just turned the tv on. o_O
djfslfkj. She's beating the giant Metalheads. DIIIIIIIIIE. ANYWAY. Um. Yes. I'd best go now. ^^ <3
Ja-ne.
~~~~~
Got no future, great big past
Little bitty guy on the rim of my glass.
Gotta meet the plane, so I can get my monkey
Teach him to be cool but a little bit funky.
Got no credit, and I got no fear,
and I got about a buck so I can buy a beer.
Gotta see a doctor 'bout the words I've said.
and I gotta get a bike and I gotta paint it red.
Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that WE'LL be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
You don’t have to be there ‘cause I’m never, never, never comin’ home
Three feet deep in a slow motion WRECK
I was walkin’ the walk and I was talkin’ to the best
I was wrinkled and shriveled and steppin’ out of line
PLAYIN' the end against the MIDDLE and losing every time
I was venous and heinous and crippled and sad
Thought I was invincible, the baddest of the bad
Then I woke up one morning, and I stepped out of bed
Had to get a bike, had to paint it red
Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that WE'LL be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
I know that you’ll miss me but I’m never, never, never comin’ home
Crazy (I’m crazy, I wanna tell you that I’m crazy)
Janis E. and Kurtis Mayfield, Leslie Gore with VIDAL Sassoon
How you think I, How you think I, How you think I take it
Said, how you think I take it when I hear all about it
Where will he go and where’s the brain
Este noche, enchillada, in Chicago ni por nada
Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that WE'LL be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
You don’t have to be there ‘cause I’m never, never, never comin’ home
Starin’ IN disbelief out at the gloom, I was forced with remorse to learn the bassoon
I got real good in about six years, started playing OUT for a couple of beers
THEN one day I was playin’ at the gig and in walked the monkey with a couple of funky friends
He came right over and said “this is what you’ll do, you’re gonna get a bike, you’re gonna paint it blue.”
Oh no, we gotta go, we’re not gonna live forever
Why, why, we gotta die? You know that WE'LL be together
Hey, hey we gotta say, I could never be a savior
I know that you’ll miss me but I’m never, never, never comin’ home
~~~~
-End-
|
|
| I'll keep you my dirty little secret. |
[27 Mar 2006|08:19am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 awake |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jack off Jill - When I Am Queen |
] |
Har. I'm obsessed with that song now. It's... 8.19 am, and I'm talking to Duo. Yeeeeee. And listening to music.. Anyway.
Um. My life is all weird right now; conflicting ideas and the like.
HAHA. Yes, petting my eyes would be somewhat scary..
I am sick, and it sucks.. GOOO, IMMUNE SYSTEM! YOU CAN DOOO EET. TT; Kill the cough that's currently rooted in my poor lungs.
Danana, I'm skipping from subject to subject too much, but in this early a time it's hard to not.
...Awww hell, I'm -really- feeling sick now ._o
I'll live...! I always do, aha..
-Flomp. Onto. A. ...PILLOWFORTHEE.- <3 Anyway.
Ilu. Ja-ne!
~~
When I am queen I will insist with perfect scars upon my wrists
that everything you once held dear is taken away from you
When I am queen sweet girlscout's face and not a one will fall from grace
If all their hearts I could replace, but until then I'll have to...
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
When I am queen on royal throne made out of parts of broken bones
of all the devils I have known that suck the angels dry
When I am queen I'll have my way I'll make it drowning dollie day
and all the tears that we have cried will suck back in our eyes
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
Hush baby hush baby
Hush baby go to sleep
Hush baby hush baby
Hush baby I'll make it be
When I am queen I will not wait my body type will still be great
I will not leave it up to fate because I hate you too
When I am queen they all will see the patron saint of self-injury
the glitter sores will heal themselves I'll play the part of someone else
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown drown drown myself
Drown
~
-KHAN. Har.
|
|
| Bah. |
[13 Mar 2006|09:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
NIN - March of the Pigs |
] |
I am. Overly irritable. Or something of the sort.
I mean, is it such a bad thing to want to talk to my person when they get home, instead of being almost immeadetly shoved onto hold? No. No it fuckin' isn't.
Fuck.
~~~
step right up march push
crawl right up on your knees
please greed feed (no time to hesitate)
I want a little bit I want a piece of it
I think he's losing it
I want to watch it come down
don't like the look of it
don't like the taste of it
don't like the smell of it
I want to watch it come down
all the pigs are all lined up
I give you all that you want
take the skin and peel it back
now doesn't that make you feel better?
shove it up inside surprise! lies
stains like the blood on your teeth
bite chew suck away the tender parts
I want to smash it up
I want to break it up
I want to fuck it up
I want to watch it come down
make me afraid of it let's discredit it let's pick away at it
I want to watch it come down
all the pigs are all lined up
I give you all that you want
take the skin and peel it back
now doesn't that make you feel better?
the pigs have won tonight
now they can all sleep soundly
and everything is all right
|
|
| I. Am. |
[11 Mar 2006|10:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 Rainbowy. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Aphex Twin - Heliosphan |
] |
EMO. Oh god. The horrors. It hurts. Hurts bad. Because I was rereading shit, and it was all. Wtf, wtf, wtf, you are so fucking emo.
And this is bad.
So now I go cry in a corner. xD. Lol.
Anyway, um. ....
I'm soooo tired.
Going on ...Um .........6 hours a day, 5 days a week ....30, 36 hours of sleep this week. THIS IS NOT NICE.
..Weekends no longer count. ...Because they suck .....HARD. ....
Damn you Dis. You have me going on dots again.
DOTDOTDOT.
Pook pook. Anyway ...
LYRICS!
~~
I see someone's crying
I see tears are shining
I see grass is green
I see what you feel
I mean you are so Naive
I see I'm not blind
I mean you are so Naive
I see I'm not blind
I hear someone's crying
I hear tears are falling
I mean you are so Naive
I see I'm not blind
I mean you are so Naive
I see I'm not blind
I see someone's crying
I see tears are shining
I see grass is green
I see what you feel
I mean you are so Naive
I see I'm not blind
I mean you are so Naive
I see I'm not blind
~~
P. S.
I love you.
|
|
|
[25 Feb 2006|11:24am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
hurt |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Deftones - Change |
] |
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: boo
Reno~ .: AUGH!
Reno~ .: XD
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: D:?
Reno~ .: You scared meh.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: oh
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: I sorreh
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: D:
Reno~ .: S'ok.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: k
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: -flomps on-
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: DDDD: Should it really affect me like this to hear that my person feels like he's told me too much about himself therefore he'll be avoiding me for maybe a day, if that?
Reno~ .: ...Yeah. I should. -Pets- What...happens.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: =/ we was talkin' about yknow like inside secrets..
Reno~ .: happen^
Reno~ .: d^
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: And like.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: I guess he figured he'd told me a bit too much.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: And he went all quiet.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: And like when I say quiet I dont mean quiet speaking
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: I mean no talking
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: =/ so after about an hour of that during which I was gettin depressed I told him I was gonna go, but I wanted to know one thing and that was if hewas going to avoid me like he did for a week that one time
Reno~ .: .___.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: And he said most likely but only for a day .____.; so I almost started crying right -there- but I managed to keep quiet about it all.. So.. About 15 min/ after that I told him I was just going to go, my mood was shit, and that I still loved him. Told him I was hanging up then and did.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: I didnt get a fucking reply to anything.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: so yea after I hung up I waited five minutes.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: turn turned the phone back on in some vague hope that he'd really been asleep.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: I got a fucking dialtone.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: ee; I shouldnt be so upset, I know, but still. Its all, jesus. You don't fucking ignore your girlfriend.
Reno~ .: ... *Pets* Relationships suck, Kimmeh.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: You dont even -mention- ignoring her.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: ._. They -do-
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: -purr.-
Reno~ .: I know...but I demand attention when he tries to blow me off.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: =/ I would but its all, lol. Can't..
Reno~ .: Or...when he goes to give me attention finally- I ignore him for twice as long. ._.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: heh..
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: I'm not like that though.. xx; Its all.. Oh.. You're just you... You aren't worth his fucking time if he has to fucking ignore you bause he thinks you -know too much-
Reno~ .: God forbid men open up to people...
Reno~ .: T_T
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: ._.;
Reno~ .: -Sarcastic-
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: -knows-
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: D: I'm posting this up on my journal
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: cuz like he admitted to last night
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: he's been really shitty about giving me attention.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: And now there's -this-
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: yea updating..
Reno~ .: I need to update mine to. .___.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: -nod-
Reno~ .: I was ''cepov2hop1f3vIHATEPEOPLE" the other day....
Reno~ .: And...things are better now. .___.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: good =/
then after loving on eachother cuz thats what sistewifeys do..
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: DDDD: I almost hurt myself lastnight.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: but I didnt.
Reno~ .: DDD:
Reno~ .: GOOD.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: yeah
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: cuz it was all
Reno~ .: Or I'd be...rauugh at yew.
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: "I'm not going to let some -guy- destroy me not only mentally but physically"
][.Shiney!.][ Kim~: so I didnt
Reno~ .: Good girl.
So yeah. =/ I know I ain't worth shit to much of anyone and this just goes to prove it.
Or maybe I'm just so paranoid that I think of the littlest things as some friggin' huge bad evil thing.
e_e Yes. I did start crying last night.
Just because I keep it hidden doesn't mean I don't -hurt.-
~~~~
Deftones - Change
I watched you change
Into a fly,
I looked away,
You were on fire.
I watched a change,
In you,
It's like you never,
Had wings,
Now you feel so alive,
I've watched you change.
I took you home,
Set you on the glass,
I pulled off your wings,
Then I laughed.
I watched a change,
In you,
It's like you never,
Had wings,
Now you feel so alive,
I've watched you change.
It's like you never,
Had wings.
Aaaahhh-ah-aaaahhh (x6)
I look at the cross,
Then I look away,
Give you the gun,
Blow me away.
I watched a change in you,
It's like you never had wings,
Now you feel so alive,
I've watched you change.
Now you feel alive,
You feel alive,
You feel alive,
I've watched you change.
It's like you never,
Had wings.
Aaaahhh-ah-aaaahhh (x6)
You've changed,
You've changed,
You've changed,
Into a fly.
~~~~~
...-end-
|
|
| ..... |
[24 Feb 2006|06:23pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
=/ |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
APC stuff |
] |
I'm tired
and cold
and depressed
and my back hurts
and mein head hurts
and I want a hug, but
I can't get one --
Oh happy day..
..Yeah ok
pattern.
xD
Don't mind me cuz it just kinda happened like that and I'm all pissed off at society again =/
I feel like crying and stuff. But screw it.
It isn't worth the damn effort.
and everything is depressing D: even the tv.
this weekend's gonna suck
And I most likely won't be able to stay up an' talk to him cuz he'll be all tired.
Yea I'm talkin' bout you. <<;
-end-
|
|
| D: |
[22 Feb 2006|07:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
aggravated |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Deftones - My Own Summer |
] |
and now like an old ex of mine just unblocked me, said 3 lines then insulted me. Fuckin' hell.
that made my mood go to shit.
|
|
| AND NOW |
[22 Feb 2006|06:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothin' |
] |
for the real one. O:
Uh.. Uh......
........I still do though. Yeah ...HI O:
Um um. Tomorow I'm going to my psyciatrist dude person's office. Yeah.
D: I MISS YOU STILL OMFLDFKJskljklsjdfd...
Even if we talk every day, lol.
Mou, I r tired. Still o_o;
Yeah, had a fight with my mom. I want to relearn how to play piano, but she won't let me take the portable keyboard in with me to my room. =/ And I told her that I have issues about learning things infront of people, including her. And she was all. Live with it. So I told her if she wouldn't let me take it in where I can have some privacy, then she could go away instead. e_e Then she started crying and blah blah blah. Irritating..
=/ I'm sorry for neglecting everyone and stuff. I'mma bad person, yeh.
Um. blergh. Right now I really, really want to wander around the neighbourhood. ee; but its dark and its cold and its late and I wouldn't be able to talk to anyone except myself. ._.; And people might try to molesticate me.
Oh bother. I'm all paranoid that things will stop. Yknow what I mean. You fall -madly- in love with your Prince Charming D: Then everything becomes dull, overly familliar, etc. I don't want that to happen.
Ja.
~end~
|
|
| omfg omfg omfg omfg |
[22 Feb 2006|06:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 amused |
] |
I need to pee. O_O
Ok really, that's like the only purpose to this entry. XD
|
|
| I can show you what I mean. |
[18 Feb 2006|05:57pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nothing. |
] |
I.. Did not sleep..
For a greater purpose than just not sleeping..
Because I reeeeally wanted to awaken Sleeping Beauty (Yes I do know I shall be flailed at for that comment X3) and I kinda sorta did and the day just got better @@; Till yknow, my dad came back and was all, heyyyy, yeah, fun's over kid, you gotta come home D: Ohwell. ._. I hope I'll get to see you again soon. Umm. No. None of that was awkward for me, not really. o-o I'uno why. Mebbeh I trust you enough or something..
Sorry for smacking you with the thingy. ...Thing ...yeah, you know what I mean. D: I TRIED TO MAKE IT BETTER! ..; Dunno if I did or not. But mrrrr.. -flail, yawn, slumps in a corner.- mmmm sleeeeep...
And you just hung up at 6.01 pm. Ehheh... Yeah.. After 13 minutes and 50 seconds of talking.. <
Okay, shutting up now. But thanks. N'stuff..
~~~
[More than 1 set of lyrics, this time]
Puddle of Mudd - Think
Wait, wait, wait
you never wanna wait
slow down stop and think
you never wanna think
cause everything
could it be a dream
another bad dream
So I drink
I'm putting down the drink
cause I cant feel a thing
Cause everytime you say goodbye
I've seen that look a thousand times
theres no more room left inside
its gonna be alright
Fear, fear, fear
just dont be afraid
watch the tube and waste
waste away the days
flush it down the drain
Cause everytime you say goodbye
I've seen that look a thousand times
theres no more room left inside
cause everytime you say goodnight
I love to watch you close your eyes
theres no more pain left inside
its gonna be alright
Hate, hate, hate
you always gotta hate
Cause everytime you say goodbye
I've seen that look a thousand times
theres no more room left inside
cause everytime you say goodnight
I love to watch you close your eyes
theres no more pain left inside
its gonna be alright
~~
Puddle of Mudd - Take It All Away
Everything so blurry
Everyone's so fake
And everybody's empty
And everything is so messed up
Pre-occupied without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble and I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
you Know that I'll protect you from all of the obscene
Wonder what you're doing
Imagine where you are
There's oceans in between us but that's not very far
Chorus:
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
This pain you gave to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
Everyone is changing
There's no one left that's real
So make up your own ending
And let me know just how you feel
'Cause I am lost without you
I cannot live at all
My whole world surrounds you
I stumble and I crawl
You could be my someone
You could be my scene
Know that I will save you from all of the unclean
I wonder what you're doing
I wonder where you are
There's oceans in between us but that's not very far
Chorus:
Nobody told me what to find
Nobody told me what to say
No one showed you where to turn
Told you where to run away
Nobody told you where to hide
Nobody told you what to say
No one showed you where to turn
Showed you where to run away
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
Explain again to me
Can you take it all away
Can you take it all away
When you shoved it in my face
this pain you gave to me
this pain you gave to me
this pain you gave to me
~~
Puddle of Mudd - Time
I can't believe
yeah their talking over
and all this confusion
is what I gather
well it's about time
yeah they draw the line
and the clock's still ticking
but there's no more curfew
I still can't find my way
someone show me a sign
I'm right back where I started
and I'm running out of time
not to touch this
please don't take that
it belongs to me
you better five it back
give it back
well it's about time
yeah they draw the line
there's no more curfew
and the clock's still ticking
not about giving in
not about your concern can show you what I mean
not about giving in
not about your concern
I can show you what I mean
~~
Puddle of Mudd - Locket
can I see your world
through your locket
counting the thoughts of forgotten
drifting alone then the sorrow
passing the time or is it borrowed
can I see your world
can I see your world
can I see your world
through your locket
painting her mind
makes her forget
places they've gone to
but paths not traveled yet
looking to the day
when the heavens take her away
will you take me there
will you take me
can I speak to you there
oh, please speak to me
speak to me
~~
Puddle of Mudd - Never Change
Someone's always tellin me i'm no good
well I don't care what you say
someone's always giving me a hard time
well I live day to day
someone's always puttin me in my place
like I don't know where I am
so I'll just sit here in the corner
without any direction
Maybe it's all it's all in my head
i think that it's something something you said
I understand somethings will never change never change
Someone's always kickin me to the curb
well it's grindin off my face
someone's always pushin me to the side
like I'm standing in the way
someone's always gettin up in my face
like I don't know who I am
too old to get 'em in the corner
without any direction
[Chorus]
Maybe it's all it's all in my head
i think that it's something something you said
I understand somethings will never change never change
Somebody's always out to get me
somebody's always tryin to kill me
understand somethings will never change
why did you have to go and change
couldn't you just have stayed the same
why did you have to go and say
understand somethings don't change [x2]
Why did you have to go and change
couldn't you just have stayed the same
why did you have to go and say
understand somethings don't change
Never change
somethings never change
somethings never change
~~
Puddle of Mudd - Migrain
There's a pain in my head and I can't reject
every time I try to think I can't remember anything
It's getting bigger and bigger should I squeeze the trigger
make the pain just fade away drop another pill and stay
no pain no gain migraine
no pain no gain migraine
I met the messenger there's no message for me
looked through all the magazines but I can't find anything
pain is getting bigger I can't pull the trigger
there's only one option left
now this pain it's in my chest
no pain no gain migraine
~~
With Broken Wings - In My Dreams
and it is only in my dreams
that I permit myself to be insane
and I scream for no apparent reason
and my urge to crumble
the lives of others elevates as my...
my veins, they become a map
and words no longer make sense
for it is only actions that affect
the extent of my temporary disease
in my dreams my veins become a map that guide me through insanity...
trapped inside my own body, but my actions reflect the work of a madman
my hands shake uncontrollaby, palms soaked in sweat
come as result of my nightmares, and my dreams
(in my dreams...)
is it ok to kill?
it's only in my dreams
my urge to crumble
drives me insane
~~
With Broken Wings - Minus a Holiday
early years consist of only silence
his image is buried beneath a falling sun
a cold day
another holiday
your minutes turned into empty hours (years)
a cold day
another holiday
my thoughts of you are far from gone
I'm not among
the boys whos bearings vanish
when autumns memories
become more vivid
the sound of your voice is
like a melody left unfinished
~~
With Broken Wings - Lost in the Midst of Chaos
not having choices has created chaos...
how so shall I deal with
all the dillemmas presented on a daily basis
I have no strength
all of my strength
has been weakend
by past deceptions
I can't trust in anyone but you
so I lay it before you
I know my thoughts are apparent
but I ask for guidance
I'm lost in the midst of chaos
I need out
I need you
not having choices has created chaos
~~
[heartheart.]
End.
|
|
| kfjsdlhdhd. o_O |
[16 Feb 2006|06:59pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Nothin'. |
] |
Ok yeah o_e I just uh.. like. Got to feeling really really weird.
Yeah I Remember what this is. Its DEPRESSION OMFG KILL IT O_O
._. It sucks. I dunno whyyyyyyyyyyy I'm all sad now.
But feh ....
I do tend to talk more online don't I. Mostly cuz its easier. Alot easier. Isorry.
ee;.... Um..
Yea earlier you hit upon one of my greater paranoias. Yknow the one where I think everything's gonna go, "LOL. Usuk, no mor happines 4 u" Nstuff.. ..; Cuz, as you said, stuff dies about this time.
._. Stuff better NOT die.. yeah ...Cuz then I'd be mad at Karma and then I'd be mean to it and it would eventually come back and BITE ME IN THE ..yeah you get the point.
I hope.
Aklsjdgklsqjchsrrcg.. Yes. Note to self: I miss you terribly.
Mou. Why is it that when good things happen it gets hard to keep going in general. ._.; Drives me crazy, it does. But feh ...
It's awful hard to sleep. My mind's all busyish. x_X I guess. ..I dunno how to, well, phrase it correctly. But I'll just rely on you knowing what I'm talkin' about.
Cuz you usually do.
Anyway.
Ja.
|
|
| <_< |
[15 Feb 2006|11:05pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
<3 |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Queens of the Stone Age stuff. |
] |
Shmee. The power went out. Then came back on ...And stuff.
e_e And typical me I was all "OMFG HE'LL BE WORRIED FLAIL!"
My mom laughed at meeeee.
And I sulked in my corner. So feh.
V. day kinda sorta REALLY OWNED. Heartheart. If only -every- day was that great xD
Uhmyea. I still have alot I wanna say but oh well. Nothing that great. If you wanna know I'll try to word it properly ee;
Ja-ne.
~~~~~
Dead bull with the life from the low
I’ll be massive conquistador
Give me soul and show me the door
Metal heavy, soft at the core
Gimme toro, gimme some more
Pressurize, neutralize
Deep fried, gimme some more
Space flunky, four on the floor
Fortified with the liqour store
This one's down, gimme some more
Gimme toro, gimme some more
Shrunken head I love to adore
B-movie, gimme some gore
Gimme toro, gimme some more
B-movie, gimme some gore
Gimme toro, gimme some more
~~~~
|
|
| ... |
[07 Feb 2006|08:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
depressed |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Deftones - Knife Party |
] |
I'm really sorry about last night. x_x;
I know I augntn't put you through the arguments but they just pop up ._.; like.. um.. ..
Bad stuff that pops up ya'know?
Its just that the combined stress from events is really hard to maintain without blowing up anymore.
xx; I stayed up till who-knows-when crying my eyes out -because- of the stress, AND the fact that I Thought you hung up on me, AND some other junk that I won't even bother to mention right now..
And again, I'm sorry. ;;
|
|
| ._. |
[30 Jan 2006|07:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Snooks Eaglin - The Same Old Train |
] |
Um. Yeah. I guess y'know that I have a reeeally hard time saying stuff outloud. So ._.; I'm sticking it here if I never -do- say it.
I do alot of stuff. Some things I mean to, some things I don't, and then I don't do things that I want to. Alot of it's weird or idiotic or something fun like that, and it almost never ends up how I want it to.
xx; I'm not used to being around people you see. Much less you. ._.
Much less someone I -don't- want to be idiotic around.
It's frustrating.
And then there's the things I want to -say- and that's an odd concept to begin with.
I'ts like my mind is telling me to, then telling me to not at the exact same time.
"Oh say it!" "Omfg dont O_O; He'll spaz. Seriously." "...D= But but--" "SHHH." "._.;"
And I always shush x_o And it's always infuriatingly silent and almost like -lieing- in a way, even if it isn't. Because it's just not -saying.- Instead of twisting it around.
Even now I'm not saying alot of it.
Though there are times that I do say what I mean, however humor-encased it may be, however strange-worded I say it. Not too easy to pick up but I always hope you will.
I'm sorry for being so defensive, so closed up in mental rooms that have too many doors with too many locks on them. It took years to build up the jail and it just may take years to rip it down again.
But I hope not.
If you ask questions I'll do my best to answer them. I usually do, even if it takes five minutes of so-called 'thinking' to actually be able to say it. And sometimes I can get around actually answering. If I'm lucky. If you can call it that.
I didn't really address anything in this now that I look it over. Maybe I did. I'uno.
Ja.
|
|
| o_o |
[30 Jan 2006|12:02pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 anxious |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tv. |
] |
Mou, I'm cold.
And I've a headache.
Random phrase you reminded me of earlier when you were playing that song for me.
"A man who speaks with words is a lover. A man who speaks with songs is a true romantic."
I'll explain where I got that later.
Blehhhh. Soooo many things I want to say. But I can't because that's how I tick.
Tick tick tick, like a bomb. e_e
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hey. I woke up today (today) to think about a dream I had.
A dream I left so far away. Ten seconds pass.
And as, I think twenty minutes pass.
I failed my mission.
Waste of life. Waste of mind. Where's my ambition?
Chalk up one girlfriend.
Two broken cars.
My band and friends are nothing more
Than parting shots not taken. Look how jaded I can be.
When I turned 16, I already felt too old to be in this entire scene
of sighing lazily at unaccomplished dreams.
Yeah it's my home but I think its time to go.
I'll hit once more so I don't wake up.
I have no home, and I don't know where to go.
I just can't seem to get on top of this situation normal all fucked up.
Still I lay in bed.
Think of all the dreams I had and clever remarks I have said.
It seems like they all mean nothing.
Snooze.
Alarm Reset.
That's eight more minutes.
This disaster can't exist because I'm not awake to live it.
I can't seem to place where life went wrong.
It's the wrong chords.
It's one lame song.
I'll never know what exist to get off at until its passed.
So kick me in the ass.
A free shot: Get it over with and kick me 'til I bleed.
It seems that's all you need. Let's go! This one's on me!
I don't think I'm going outside today.
I'll stay in bed all day.
Declare a personal holiday.
So you can take my page right of your phone book.
Burn my seven digits to ashes.
I won't be present in any of your classes.
Eyelids are the sky as this day passes.
I wanna stay asleep forever.
|
|
| TT_TT |
[25 Jan 2006|12:42pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Audioslave - Like A Stone |
] |
DDD: I'm just this close to crying. And I dont know why
'nd i'm depressed and too icky to caps my i's so you just -gotta- know somethin' bad's happening but I dunno what ;;
And now my mom just yelled at me for not eating and I hate it. ;_;
I -know- its there I just dont feel like eating because I'm so upset.
We've been fighting all morning about stupif stuff and I know I misspelled stupid go'way ;;
><;
I cant put everything I want down here but yeah...
|
|
| I dunno. |
[22 Jan 2006|02:38pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 lksjkljdf. ._. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Tv/Techno |
] |
._. I'm confused about alot of things..
And once again I'm going to disable comments.. Because if you -really- want to ask about it you know how to reach me.
ee;...I dont know how things are going.
Really.
It's all confusing and weird and freaky and ick.
Wheee... I'm on the phone. Wiff Peter. << And we aint talking and it's amusing. I guess.
And depressing kinda but oh well e.e;
._.; I still wish I knew more things than I do.
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
wrathling's journal